Ist das ein guter Comment?
Nowadays the internet is becoming a bigger concern due to its unlimeted access. So its getting riskier to be online especially for children as there are many threats, such as fake profiles. However, is the internet really that dangerous?
First of all, I think the internet makes us very dependet, which can lead to developing addidictive behaviors, impacting both our personal lives and careers. For example during a family dinner, there is less conversation and more time spent surfing the internet. This can lead to conflict, just as when someone constantly checks their phone at work or in the school.
The next point is we are not always aware of the dangers online, because the internet is has become part of our everday life. From my point of view is this a big Problem, especially for young people, because they can visit websites that aren’t safe for them. For instance it can also be dangerous for children, as older people can pretend to be younger and attract children.
The next argument is that the internet also offers many benefits, such as educational plattforms, that help young people study for school. In my experience the internet provides learning materials and online courses, for example, which can help save time by avoiding long commutes.
Lastly its important to say that the internet make it easy to do many things online, which is often faster. For example shopping online is usually easier than going to a store especially when time is short.
All in all I can say the internet has good and negatives sites. One the one hand is the internet not good for children, because there are many dangers on the internet, on the othder hand you can benefit from internet.
3 Antworten
Hallo,
entscheide selbst.
Nowadays (Komma) the internet is becoming a bigger (Größer als was?) concern (Meine Wahl: issue) due to its unlimeted (RS = Rechtschreibung) access (durch seinen unbegrenzten Zugang ist ein wenig unglücklich formuliert). So its (Grammatik) getting riskier to be online especially for children as there are many threats, such as fake profiles. However, is the internet really that dangerous? (Weniger umgangssprachliche Alternative zu that dangerous - as dangerous as that)
First of all, I think the internet makes us very dependet (RS), which can lead to developing (doppelt-gemoppelt) addidictive (RS) behaviors (= AE; BE = behaviours), impacting (Wort) both our personal lives and careers. For example (Komma) during a family dinner, there is less conversation and more time spent surfing the internet. This can lead to conflict (Meine Wahl: Plural), just as when (Formulierung) someone constantly checks their phone at work or in (Wort) (---) school.
The next point is we (Formulierung) are not always aware of the dangers online, because the internet (---) has become part of our everday (RS) life. From my point of view (Komma) is this (Satzstellung) a big Problem (RS), especially for young people, because they can visit websites that aren’t safe for them. For instance (Komma) it can also be dangerous for children, as older people can pretend to be younger and (Meine Wahl: (in order) to) attract children.
The next argument is that (Formulierung) the internet also offers many benefits (Warum sind Vorteile ein Problem?), such as educational plattforms (RS), that (Wort) help young people study for school. In my experience (Komma) the internet provides learning materials and online courses, for example, (Satzstellung bzw. Formulierung) which can help save time by avoiding long commutes (Wort).
Lastly (Komma) its (Grammatik) important to say that the internet make (Grammatik) it easy to do many things online, which is often faster (1. Formulierung: machen Dinge leichter, was schneller ist. 2. Warum ist das ein Problem?) For example (Komma) shopping online is usually easier than going to a store (Komma) especially when time is short.
All in all (Komma) I can say the internet has good and negatives sites (Wort). One (RS) the one hand (Komma) is the (Satzstellung) internet not good for children, because there are many dangers on the internet, on the othder (RS) hand (Komma) you can benefit from (Hier fehlt ein Wort.) internet.
Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert, das Kursivgedruckte überdacht werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.
Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,
für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!
:-) AstridDerPu
Viele Rechtschreib und Grammatikfehler, kein roter Faden und die Argumente sind wenig überzeugend.
Aber für die Schule reicht es, denke ich. Immerhin wurde der Text nicht von einer KI verfasst.
Für einen Englisch Aufsatz für die 7/8. Klasse in Ordnung
